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Finally a brick from the wall crumbles and a brilliant light pours out from within, soothing his senses, bringing a train of memories and voices, voices of laughter, at first soft and then growing louder as they approach the brick wall. He stares with awe at the steady flow of whiteness from within, then he sees them! The white emptiness is replaced by a pair of eyes now, beautiful eyes, and then they speak to him. "What took you so long?", he hears the voice from within and then they disappear. Slowly getting up, like a child taking it's first steps, he walks towards the wall and peeks within.

There is no whiteness within, but a forest is visible, as he peers through it, trying to make sense of what he is feeling. It is a vast and densely wooded place, free, with no master. It bows to no one and stops at nothing to achieve its sole purpose- to grow.

— in Manali, Himachal Pradesh.

 

My Project MAYHEM...

"Fight Club  is a 1999 American film based on the 1996 novel of the same name by Chuck Palahniuk. The film was directed by David Fincher and stars Edward Norton, Brad Pitt, and Helena Bonham Carter."-wikipedia

Why the sudden interest? Well I just finished seeing it. It's a little too much to take, if you ask me.Two hours of total MAYHEM. But those of you who have seen it.....know that 'The first rule of Project Mayhem is: You do not ask questions'.

After watching the movie, I felt like talking about it, writing about something. Writing about what? I still haven't figured that out. I have always been in a confused state of mind. I have always thought that this has got to do, with the way that I am made up. But that's not entirely  true.

There are a lot of things that go around, which I don't understand. It seems, I have taken it upon myself to solve each and every mystery that presents itself before me. I have a feeling I can attain that or a part of it atleast by pursuing this invisible task with all my heart, mind and soul.It makes me wanna do things that I could have never imagined. Sadly I also end up 'not doing' many things.

I have, however realized that I have very less time, and postponing things is not gonna work in my favor. No I am not sick or dying or thinking of dying. I understand that whatever I have is more precious than what I don't have.

Learning . Learning is a difficult task, exciting but difficult.What is learning? 'The cognitive process of acquiring skill or knowledge'. But that also means that the knowledge, that there is more to learn, can be only achieved thorough more LEARNING.

For now I can only write so much. If this note has managed to confuse you, then thank you for reading the whole thing, but let me clarify that without confusion, our world would not be the way it has come to be. The unending quest to clear the confusions in our brain is what keeps us ticking, creating an illusion of growth. We never stop being kids, bumbling, falling, getting up again. We just start believing in something different. Something that was there all along but was masked by a veil of ignorance, absurdity, MAYHEM.

For those who have grasped this absurdity....Welcome to MY Project MAYHEM. But remember the first rule in my project MAYHEM is : You always ask questions! 

au revoir....

PS: This is not a movie review...however I do recommend Fight Club

The thing about writing...

The thing about writing is that you never know when you might get the urge. Its like one moment your flushing the toilet and something comes out (pun not intended). But its always good to write, put pen on paper, fingers on the keyboard, thumbs on the phone keys. It relieves a lot of stress.

But sometimes you want to write so badly and nothing comes out. Theres this empty hollow feeling. You feel its not in you to make something happen. Something so simple like putting your thoughts down. At such times an experience, an  interaction with someone or even a silent cup of tea in an remote corner of some place does the trick.

And sometimes...THUD...you hit a wall, like the one I hit now. What am i writing? Is it making sense? Will people read it? What will they say? Will they like the stupid joke I cracked in the first line? ooof(sigh) So many questions about people. Its as if I am writing for them and not for me. Well I am. I want to know what people like. I want to know how to crack better jokes. I want to be free...(another song by Queen that blasted in my mind...sorry for the interruption). That is for what we are here for, to interact (I love acting by the way, someone please give me some role in a play or a movie...) !.

So I end this with a prayer. 

'I thank thee lord, for thy precious gift, thy brain is working fine and I am taking good care of it. Thy helpers-my friends keep it well oiled, and help it to rest when it needs. Hope thy light shines on them all and me-like it hath all along. I know your watching, so I await your 'LIKE' on thy own fb. Give me, thy humble servant, the stage to write and to interACT better, after I leave thy own CEPT"

- Thy humble servant

PS: My notes are getting bigger...Thanks man...I mean LORD, I thank thee...!!  _/\_

Empty lab on a Sunday Morning...

Under Pressure!!

These days the song that is keeping me up and moving me around is the 1981 hit single recorded by Queen and David Bowie- Under Pressure. I am yet to decipher all the lyrics but the two words clearly explain what me and all my friends in college must be feeling. But this note is not about the song or about why everyone is 'Under pressure'. (Some good advice: To enjoy reading this note more dont read but sing the words 'Under Pressure' ! Ideally you should be listening to the song)

Coming back to what this note is about- Breakthroughs

Three definitions here: 1. A productive Insight (Good to have this once a while)

                                                   
                                2. Making an important Discovery (Did this today morning)

                                                               
                                3. A penetration of a barrier such as an enemy's defense( My favorite)

Breakthroughs come at a strange time and often in strange places. They are lurking in the corners waiting to pounce on their unsuspecting prey! 

Often when these come you feel like doing something like what Archimedes did- running through the streets crying out Eureka !!  Eureka !! (No I did not do that today morning !!)

Often these things are short lived - till the point you discover there's another person in the street running naked next to you !

In any case its good to have a breakthrough once in a while and its even better to have one when your....(go on sing along..)

                                                            UNDER PRESSURE ! ! !

A new day (just like yesterday)!

Its 1:17 AM in the night. I am thinking about all my friends I am going to tag in this note. Most of them are probably asleep by now. Yet I am sitting in a room full of people who are lazily tapping away into their computers regardless of the time . I imagine my body floating towards my hostel room, an alarm to wake up early morning, and then, that wonderful bed encircling me. What I wouldn't do to make that happen.

Yesterday was the same, with me sitting through the night tapping away on my computer. I remember waking up at around 4 am , with the G H B N M of the keyboard imprinted on my forehead.

Then the day before, I remember getting up at 2am , sitting at my desk and working till 7 before heading to have chai.

Now. Drifting back (to the room full of people lazily tapping away into their computers regardless of the time) in realize that the flash back is over.

Today is another day(just like yesterday). 

Tomorrow will bring a new day(just like today). 

Whats important is that we keep doing what we are meant to and remember that a new day is always around the corner.

Have a nice day!

Freedom...

Kismet, Fate, destiny, luck, fortune. 

Freedom...

Numerous words have been spoken and countless articles written on these words. Yet for me it still remains a mystery.To me these words sound obscure.

Life according to me cannot be defined based on such words, (Will you call life, a game of destiny?, a twisted fate?, or just plain good luck?) How does one explain life? I am not going to explain that here(I am sure you don't want me to).

I do not have that answer, but one thing I believe....

LIFE IS FREEDOM

Me myself and the universe

I am what I am...

I've been wanting to come back home more often these days. I wonder why though. Sometimes it feels as though time just fly’s by and you just miss out on certain things in life. You just hope sometimes that time just stopped in its tracks. Better still sometimes you want to go back in time. If that’s not enough then you want to redo things that you felt you did wrong.

In the past few years time has been kind to me...Its stopped when I wanted it to, it’s paced when I didn't feel I could take it any longer. I've realized that our time changes with the choices we make. Well its quite obvious isn't it, in fact it’s so obvious that we forget. Our choices made consciously or subconsciously have a bearing on our future.

So if someone gave me the power to change something in my past I'd say no thank you! 

I am what I am because of the choices I’ve made.I have no regrets. I believe there’s just two people who can affect my “time"- me myself and the universe.

But I wouldn't worry about the latter;the universe is too busy doing other things!